Finding Home
by Mrs.Stringfellowdinozzo
Summary: Smart, agile, ruthless, a lethal weapon in her own right. Created to be struck at from every angle, brought to her absolute limits and without fail not falter. Yes Mossad's greatest weapon, but not today, today their prized gem will fall. Broken and dejected she begins to struggle as she tries to reclaim what was once hers, that is until she meets a group of American agents who be
1. Numb

Chapter 1: Numb

The high pitched echoes of metal against metal reverberated through the corridors from the various training rooms within Mossad. At the entrance of one of these corridors stood two figures.

"I can not thank you enough Eli." The prime minister for Israel started gratefully.

"For Israel, I would send even a hundred of my best agents, so long as it means keeping our country safe." Eli countered solemnly, There was a threat to his home and he would not tolerate it.

"Just a few will do." The Prime Minister reassured.

Nodding in assent Eli spoke once again. "Come I will show you now, what I have to offer."

Together they both headed further down the corridor. Upon arrival at one of the many doors that were lined along the walls, Eli placed his palm on an electronic pad and after about three seconds a soft noise is heard before the two are granted entry. Entering into the space there's nothing but a large glass window overlooking a semi-crowded training area. Below a mixture of both male and female agents can be seen partaking in both weapon and hand to hand combat. One could feel the electricity in the room charged and ready to suffocate anyone not strong enough to withstand the pressure emanating off the soldiers.

The Minister took a moment to take it all in, as he watched various fights evolve and transform into a great dance of both agility and skill mixed in with raw power. Roving over the scene once more, it was hard for the minister to decide whether or not the feeling building in his stomach was excitement or trepidation.

"Who is that?" His eyes stopped as he caught sight of a woman, slowly circling her opponent, her body taut and gleaming with sweat as she moved with a certain hunger, like a lioness locked onto her prey. There was a look in her eyes, one that much of an all-consuming fire that knew no end.

"That is Mossad's pride and joy, she will be the one to usher in a new generation, one the world will not be able to prepare for."

Eli delivered, his eyes now trained on his daughter.

"Her name is Ziva."

Closing his locker Amir reached for his pack on the bench beside him. He had been hoping to avoid this but it was necessary, the mission presented before him could not be passed over or taken lightly, he, in fact, felt honoured to be chosen but still...He glanced across the room and watched as the woman who so recently managed to completely captivate him in every sense of the word, packed away her things. A small frown marred his face as he observed her place two all too familiar pills in her mouth.

He had been trying for months to convince her that she was better off without them, but still she persisted. Looking at it objectively he could understand her reasoning and even relate but as of late he had been finding it difficult to be objective with matters related to her.

Securing his bag across his back he begun to make his way to her, he would be gone for an unspecified timeframe and he hoped he would be able to have her with him before he had to go. He stopped midstride as he saw his team leader approach her. He cursed silently as he witnessed her take the package that was handed to her before exchanging a few words with his leader. After another moment or so the two separated and with a few more strides he was at her side. Before he was able to say or ask anything however, she turned and addressed him.

"I've been requested to join your team for your next assignment."

"That does not surprise me, however, are you sure you are up for this? Your body still has not recovered as yet and those pills can only take you so far."

"They'll take me as far as I need to go."

"At what cost?"

"Any." The steely-eyed gaze and the usually determined hell-bent expression she always encased herself with always left him feeling a bit ill at ease. Though it was common for any Mossad operative to feel as though nothing should ever stand in the way of their mission. There was a part of him that wanted something different for himself and Ziva. Which made it clear to him that he had well and truly been compromised. When exactly that had happened he wasn't sure. All though he knew that it was pointless to continue he couldn't help but push a little further.

"The pills are poison, they carry a great burden, think about your future."

"Enough Amir." she snapped. "It is what it is, any burden that must be borne I will do alone, you need not concern yourself." She said with finality

"And yet still." he reached for her hand and placed it on his chest. "As long as I have breath I will not leave your side." He used that moment to slowly caress her hand while locking his eyes with her own.

He then watched as her brows furrowed and her mouth formed a thin line, a sign that she was indeed trying to shut him out, yet again.

"Amir you..."

"It's alright, I'll go ahead." He reassured bringing her hand up to his lips and giving it a small kiss before walking away.

"By my calculations, we have a ninety-six-hour window to work with, anytime after that and we will be running on borrowed time." Joshim began giving the team before him a cursory glance before continuing. "Keep in mind the intel that we have is limited so we will be going in blind. All we know is that they will be setting up somewhere in this area and it's critical we find out where and secure a section for our own to occupy."

Joshim reached into his pack and placed a map at the center of the makeshift table, Indicating various points with his finger as he went along.

"Gavi,Omar and Gian will enter from this intersection here leading from Rusayl, Ephraim and Benjamin I've secured passage on a ship for you both, so you will be entering from Al mouj marina. Amir and I will enter from manumah. Ziva will recon this area here, so we will be able to secure it for our own."

Amir listened to Joshim relay their route details and tried to ignore the feeling that something wasn't right and that he should suggest accompanying Ziva, but quickly dismissed that idea, neither Joshim nor Ziva for that matter would agree to that. His eyes slid to the woman in question for a moment, he could tell the pills were wearing on her, she hid it well but he could always tell.

Amir watched Ziva fasten her pack across her stomach and his own did a dip. He continued to watch as she made her way to her transporter and before he could stop himself he called and went to her, his hand circling her forearm firmly holding it in place.

He took her in as if trying to memorize her.

"What is it?" she asked impatiently.

He took a step back and slowly released his hold on her.

"It's nothing, Keep safe."

Her eyes flipped to Joshim's before going back to his own, she held his gaze for a moment before giving him a slight nod and making her exit. He dropped his head, somewhere inside of him was clearly unsettled.

"Do you have something to say to me?" Amir begun sensing his team leaders eyes trained on him.

"That will get you killed."

"Bastard!" Ziva gasped as she fell to the floor clinging to her side, the unrepentant pulses ripped through her, sending small white flashes to her eyes, she tried her hardest to focus and concentrate, taking in deep breaths, it was another minute or so before she was able to see properly. It was dark but she was still able to make out the stone walls and sand covered floors of the terrorist compound.

Turning her head slightly to the side she could see the body of the man that had been able to actually catch her off guard, she had managed to kill the others but had missed him and now she would have to pay for her oversight. Glancing down at her side she could see her shirt now being completely soaked through with her blood, he'd managed to dig his knife fairly deep and much to her chagrin he had actually twisted it.

Pressing more forcefully on the wound she couldn't help the anger and frustration at not being able to kill him a second time. She would have had him begging for death before actually slitting his throat and putting them both out of their misery.

Reaching over she braced herself against one of the walls of the small room. She then tried to stabilize her hold on her wound with one hand, her other arm she used to activate her com links to get a hold of her team leader. Whether she liked it or not she had to report in, her time was almost up.

"Joshim."

"Ziva where are you? We are on a deadline."

"I was ambushed ...I am wounded." she added reluctantly.

With a slight swear directed at her through the links, she could already hear his own frustration as he addressed her.

"If they found you then they've already alerted the others, How are we supposed to finish the mission now?" She could hear the anger beginning to emerge in his voice but she had no time for him, the all too familiar tingling had begun to spread around the wound as well as the coldness that was now currently creeping in.

"I killed them all, I just need to wrap my wounds and I'll re-join you to finish the mission."

"No...you've been compromised and you're hurt, you're a liability now..."

"Even so you still need me."

"I'm sorry Ziva you are on your own, we can't wait or come for you, we'll find another way, shalom."

The com-link went dead.

Dragging out the offending piece of technology she threw it at the opposing wall, then ran a shaky hand through her hair, she knew what this meant, it meant that if she didn't find some way of getting out of here, her wound would be the last thing she had to worry about. In a few hours the area would be filled with the terrorist they were targeting and if they found her she had long ago made up her mind she would never be caught alive. On the other hand, even if she were to get back, Ziva knew that there would be hell to pay. Mossad agents that failed their missions were punished and held in very low regard. She couldn't count on her team to have her back, even if they were able to finish the mission they wouldn't have any time to spare to come and save her. They would have to get to the extraction point and get back to Israel as soon as possible.

She reached into her small field kit gear and felt as her hand bumped into the M62 pill bottle, she hesitated for a moment, lately she'd been experiencing dizzy spells and had thrown up twice within the same week. Amir was right but even so, she failed to report her complications with the pills deeming the results she had been experiencing far outweighed whatever else might be happening to her, besides if she didn't take them she would die. Without another thought, she opened the bottle cap and slipped two of the silver pills inside her mouth. It would take a minute or so for the pills to kick in and when they did she would make her move, but first, she grabbed for the kit and begun her first aid. She would, of course, have to get her wound checked at a later date.

Adrenaline begun to shoot through her veins and the feeling of strength worked its way from her head to her feet. Finishing up her first aid she got to her feet, the pills would allow her to push past the pain and concentrate on her environment, but they wouldn't last long and she wouldn't risk taking any more in her current state. She cleared her head and thought only of the fact that she was stronger than this, She had bled more and had been in worse situations. her father had trained her to face up to her limits and move past them. This is what she had all but sold her soul for, she would do and go anywhere if it meant she would be the best. She had to be. She would not disappoint her father, she would complete her mission and she would return.

Bursting through the door of the old abandon shelter where they had set up their temporary base, Joshim called for his second in command.

"Amir!"

"I'm here." Amir answered making his presence known, one look at his leaders face told him something wasn't right. "What's happened?"

"Some of the men we're hunting have found Ziva, she says she's killed them all but that's not to say they haven't already reported in before they ambushed her." Joshim informed while gathering up their supplies and documents. "We must go quickly and meet up with Gavi and the others since I have the extraction coordinates." He finished off.

"What about Ziva? Let me go for her and I'll meet up with you at a later time."

"No, you are needed here. Ziva knew the consequences before agreeing to accompany us."

"So you're just going to leave her? We need her."

"We'll just have to make due."

"No, we go for her."

Joshim stopped what he was doing, his eyes finding amir's staring him down in open challenge, his own narrowed.

"She's already been compromised, she's injured, she will slow us down and they will find us, so I say we leave her."

"You do not seem to understand, that time I was not asking, I will go for her."

Joshim straightened his back in anticipation for a fight, if it came to that, the air had changed around them as they both fought for dominance over the other.

"And how is it exactly you plan to get to her? There is only one jeep."

"Guess." Joshim's expression hardened as he watched Amir raise his gun to his face.

"You are sentencing our brothers to their deaths, if I do not get to them in time they also will be found and slaughtered, is that what you want?"

"It is no different than you sentencing Ziva to hers."

"You fool, I told you this would get you killed. Neither myself nor the director will forget this."

"Even so, I must still go, I made a promise I intend to keep."


	2. I Can't Stand to Fly

Chapter 2: I Can't Stand To Fly

...

She had been traveling for a few hours she was sure, choosing to head towards the village she had seen on her way in hopes of finding shelter, not for very long though, she knew the risk of staying one place too long. It would just be until she caught her bearings. The only problem with her plan was the one thing she hadn't accounted for, the pills weren't working. Every inch of her body ached, her wound had begun to throb incessantly and without mercy. With every step that she took, it became more difficult to breathe.  
She stopped, deciding to rest under a tree. Taking a sip of water, she allowed herself to use her breathing exercises. If she continued like this she wouldn't make it very far, if the men from before had sent word ahead, then they would be sending a team for her.  
Forcefully she bit her bottom lip, trying her hardest to hold down her frustrations, she would stay in control. With her body protesting the way it was, her options were limited. She closed her eyes tightly. She may or may not regret it but it was her best option, she needed to move now if she wanted to get ahead. She was out of time.  
She knew she would be able to get a few more hours out of the M62. She grabbed for her pack and sought after the pills. Instead of the recommended two, she threw about a handful in her palm before putting them in her mouth and using some of her water to wash them down. Like before she would give it a minute or so.  
Re-strapping her pack, she made to resume her trek when...  
"Argh!"  
Without warning she dropped to her knees, heaving heavily as she did so. Her vision became dark, her head light and it was with that, she was unable to stay conscious.

"Ziva! Ziva!" she stirred and relief flooded to his chest, Amir's heart had never clenched as tightly as it had when he'd finally managed to find her after a day and a half of searching, she'd been lying on her stomach, her body limp and for a moment he had thought she was dead. He'd seen her jagged breathing and realized she was just barely still alive, and here he now found himself desperately trying to wake her.

Small groans came from her lips and her eyes fluttered slightly.  
"Ziva, we must go." He tried again, more groans.  
"It is not safe for us out here." His senses had gone into overdrive and he could not stop his instincts then and there from scanning his surroundings, though he saw nothing amiss, he wouldn't take the chance that he was wrong. Carefully he scooped her in his arms and cradled her against his chest. Reaching the jeep he placed her across the back seat and used the seat belts to secure her.  
"Am..ir"  
His eyes went in search of her face.  
"I'm here." He placed his hand comfortingly on her head.  
"You should...not have come." Though her voice was cracked and her eyes half-lidden, he could both see and hear her regret.  
"Shh..you must rest, we have a long journey ahead of us." With that Amir strapped himself in and begun their departure.

...

He'd known the right thing to do would have been to carry her back to Mossad and have her examined there, but the moment he did so he would be taken prisoner and more than likely he would never see her again. He wasn't ready for that, not yet, so he'd decided to bring her to a civilian hospital just on the edge of Tel Aviv.  
Reaching out he slowly outlined the side of her face, stopping to give her cheek a soft caress. She hadn't responded, not that he thought she would, she had been heavily sedated shortly after being admitted, he watched as her chest expanded and contracted in even rhythms. The fact that she was finally breathing comfortably, although not on her own, made his forthcoming judgment alright, because she was safe and that was all that mattered.  
"They will come for me soon." He told her though he knew she wouldn't hear him.  
"It shouldn't have been like this, I should have tried harder to get you away from those pills and all this, we should have been happy." With a deep sigh, he ran a hand through his hair and with a penetrating stare he gazed upon the woman he now knew for a fact he loved.  
"If I return I promise we'll have it all." Reaching over he placed a short kiss on the side of her forehead, before retaking his seat and continuing his watch over her.

It was a few hours later before he felt it, the change in the atmosphere, though subtle, had raised his awareness that he was no longer alone. His back was currently turned to the door but he knew who had just walked through the entrance.

"Amir Yager under the direct orders of Mossad director Eli David you are hereby charged with insubordination and treason, will you come quietly or..."

"That will not be necessary." Amir cut his former leader off, after all, he was well aware of the fact that Joshim wouldn't have come alone, there would be no point in resisting and he wouldn't take the chance that Ziva might somehow get caught in the crossfire. With his back straight and a last lingering gaze on Ziva's vulnerable form lying in the hospital bed, he made his way to the door and allowed Joshim to put him under the standard Mossad restraints.

...

"And you are certain about this?" Eli looked to his head researcher, his tone, and expression both reflecting his concern.

Once word had gotten to him on what exactly had unfolded during the mission, he had immediately sent out a team to track down Amir and his daughter, his agents had found them at a hospital in Be'er Sheva. The director had, of course, issued the warrant for Amir's arrest and had then arranged for Ziva to be transported to Mossad.

That was almost three weeks ago and with every test result, he had become more and more disturbed. At the beginning of her second week, she had finally woken but had started suffering terrible episodes of paroxysms and all other sorts of medical difficulties. The doctors had been unable to fully carry out any test, mostly due to the fact that they'd had direct all their attention on keeping her stable. For that entire week, He had yelled at and threatened every doctor and every researcher that he had currently employed.

They had insisted that there must be something else that had caused her body to go in outright rejection of the pills, which had only managed to further enrage him, all he had been hearing from them were runarounds and excuses, not one single one of them could tell him what was wrong. It was only at the halfway point in her third week that he had stopped calling for their heads, mostly due to the fact she had managed to become stable enough for them to resume testing and begin her treatment, like they had the others. The underlining issue that they had found however had truly shaken him to his core and had left him even up to this point unsure how to proceed.

To say the mission had been a failure would have been an understatement, the terrorist were able to successfully set up their base in Muscat as well as capture five of his best agents, adding in Amir's betrayal, the prime ministers fury and now Ziva's current state.

"Yes, her latest test results confirm." With his face grim, his eyes refocused on his daughter, as he watched her struggle on the treadmill located within the testing fields.

"The damage is extensive and even though we've managed to fully purge her system from the drug, there will be lingering effects that may cause complications in the upcoming months."

"How are the other agents progressing?" Once the doctors had received Ziva's results they had been alarmed and had requested all the agents that had been chosen to use the drug be brought to them immediately. Fortunately, their results hadn't been as worrisome, they had no outward symptoms and their internal damage was minimal. It also helped that they had caught whatever had taken over his daughters body early.

"Their treatment is going well, at this rate, they will be ready to return to active duty in a week or so."

"What will happen to her now?" He was no doctor but looking at her results it was not hard to tell she was nowhere near what she used to be.

"We'll continue gathering data, due to her current situation we will have to keep her under observation for a little while longer, but at this point, I am uncertain to what extent her body will be able to recover."

"What are the odds this situation of hers will turn out favorably?"

The researcher looked down at the clipboard that he had been carrying around for what seemed an eternity and begun re-reading her last test result, frowning as he did so.

"Once she's released, it will be important that she finds herself a support system to watch over her and that she rests if she's to have any chance."

Eli nodded soberly, not at all pleased by what he was hearing. He turned to begin his exit.

"Do what you will, she must survive." He started. "Speak nothing of this to anyone, my daughter included ."

"Are you certain? she may not like that you are keeping something like this from her."

"So be it, she is not ready." With that, he fully made his exit, setting his course for the torture chambers.

...

Entering into the dimly lit room, Eli took a moment to take in the man before him, once he had been sure that the man in question would someday become a potential candidate to take over for him as director, but now there was only contempt in his heart whenever he thought of the man.

Stepping closer he observed as Amir slowly lifted his head to see who had entered. Instantly he could tell that his agents had indeed done there job in finally managing to break him. He allowed a small amused huff to pass from his lips at the irony of the situation. For days he'd order multiple agents to try break his will to resist and live, and for days nothing had worked, which hadn't surprised him so much as he was becoming agitated by Amir's persistence to not bend. Eli was not to be deterred either, before he gave the order to have him killed he wanted to see him on his knees. It was only after they had shown him a video of one of Ziva's more violent episodes, that had actually caused her heart to give out, that they were then able to convince him of her 'death'. He hadn't been present but had been told that it hadn't taken much more than that for the light in his eyes to finally extinguish themselves.

Now, Eli circled his agent in absolute satisfaction, his eyes met Amir's lone eye, noting the other to be so badly swollen, he was just not able to see through it at all. Appraisingly he gave the chains that were currently restraining him from above, a firm tug and observed with even more bemusement as he actually flinched.

"So you saw fit to put a gun to your leaders head?" Eli begun threateningly.  
"It was the only way." Amir's voice cracked as he answered.  
"Hmph, It appears sleeping with my daughter has clouded your judgment, you've now become as useful as a dull blade."  
"No, sleeping with your daughter gave me clarity." Eli's eyes narrowed slightly at the venom that had just come from Amira as he spoke.  
"Clarity you say? was it clarity that made you decide the life of one was greater than the lives of five? After all she was compromised they were not, they could have been saved but because of you, your leader could not get to them in time and so they were captured."

It was then that Eli brought his face level with Amir's.  
"Tell me, how clear is your vision now?" Eli watched on as Amir chose to meet his eyes with a defiant gaze.

"Your brothers are most likely dead and yet still you look at me as if you couldn't care less."  
"She was better than us all, we needed her more than we needed them." Though he couldn't see him, he knew he was there, Amir's eye tried to penetrate the dark and find his former leader. Though he failed to find him he spoke out into the darkness at him.

"I would do it again."

At the back of the room, Joshim's jaw ticked as he tried to restrain himself from snapping Amirs neck then and there.  
Straightening his back Eli spoke down at Amir, very much aware of who Amir had meant his message for.

"I should have him end you, you've allowed our enemies to place a stronghold only miles away from our home and you've disgraced what it means to be Mossad." He paused to allow the gravity of the situation to settle on Amir. "Fortunately, I have other plans for you."

Both Amir and Joshim froze, neither one quite able to understand.

"Release him and have him tended to."

"Director! Please reconsider." Joshim begun to protest.

"I said Release him!" Eli rebuked turning to face where Joshim stood, essentially speechless. It was another moment or so before he actually responded, try as hard as he may to internalize and figure out his directors motives.

"...I understand." Begrudgingly Joshim removed himself from the corner and did as he was told. Paying little mind to securing Amir before letting him out of his suspension , causing him to fall severely on his knees. Grabbing him harshly he jerked him into motion to stand up, before attempting to have him move off towards the wards.

Eli placed his hand in the air directing them to pause. Forcefully he held onto Amir's jaw, applying pressure as he did so and stared him directly into his eye

"Listen to me very carefully, do it again and I will have Ziva handle you instead; because unlike you she is still the weapon that I forged from my blood and she will do as I say."

Amir's eye widen in shock. She was still alive.

...

Ziva stepped out of the shower, her eyes catching a glimpse of her reflection in the wall mirror next to the standing scale. Slowly, she made her way over. Her eyes roved over her naked form. Noting as she ran her hand along that her usually tan complexion had become frighteningly pale and filled with a mixture of deep blue and purple bruises.

She twisted and turned in front of the mirror, running her hand along her stomach and stopping at the bandage strapped to her side, where she had been impaled. Earlier in the day she had checked her weight and had realized she had actually lost a few pounds while being incapacitated. Her weight loss wasn't blatantly obvious, still, she was able to see the kind of damage she had brought upon herself. Her last few days that she had actually been conscious, were filled with shakes and convulsions, sharp pains in her head and accompanied by this never-ending nausea. This was the first day she was actually able to be up on her feet for longer than five minutes without passing out. She should be pleased at that, but how could she?

Once the doctors realized she was strong enough to be tested physically, they had subjected her to do a fairly standard test that most new recruits would have been able to do, but something she was no longer capable of. It made her feel weak and the thought that if she were to be under attack, she would be defeated made her sick to her stomach, she may have made a misjudgment with the pills but she would not fall behind. She would push past the headaches, nausea and the fatigue and she would return to her true self. Though at the moment it felt easier said than done.

Crossing her arms across her abdomen and gripping at her sides, she tried to pull the strength she knew she had from within and ignore the feeling that something wasn't right, that there was something else the doctor wasn't telling her. He hadn't said as much but she felt as though he were withholding something from her.

Giving her head a light shake, she couldn't bring herself to consider that maybe she wouldn't get the chance to redeem herself.

She sought out her eyes on the reflective surface. They were hollow and devoid of any life. The fire that had once shone through and had seemed ready at any moment to consume anything that had found its way into their line of sight, the look of confidence and the knowledge of knowing who and what she was fighting for, she could no longer see. They were just gone. Something had shifted, there was a change, there was just something different about this time, like the end of something for her. Her heartbeat sped up and true panic begun to emerge on her face, she didn't want to think of a fate that did not have Mossad in it for her, this was her life and yet something persisted in whispering on otherwise. For the first time in her life, Ziva David had found an enemy she could not fight or even see. The unknown. What could possibly happen to her next?  
...

"Wait, You actually got it? As in she willingly gave it to you?" He asked dubiously, to say McGee was surprised would have been an understatement. After watching for the entire plane ride, his partner, and friend shamelessly as usual flirting with their flight attendant and not so surprisingly not garner her attention, he was highly skeptical as said partner returned from allegedly 'going to the bathroom' and coming back declaring he had managed to receive the flight attendants number.  
"Of course she did, as you can clearly tell, she just so happens to be a woman of distinguishing taste." Tony delivered while getting comfortable once again in his seat, his infamous DiNozzo grin in place.  
"I'm sure that's it,or maybe she was just desperate enough to give it to you so you would finally leave her alone." Kate accused and watched amusedly as Tony's smile faltered for a moment before quickly returning.  
"You know that's not very nice Kate, you almost hurt my feelings." Tony mock pouted.

"Almost is just never enough with you is it DiNozzo?" Kate then continued to tease.

"You would know, right? what was that guy's name? The one from the bar last night. Jordan?"

"You are so immature sometimes." Kate rolled her eyes dismissively, she would just save her energy.

"That's what I thought." Tony finished victoriously.

"Anyway you take it, I still don't understand why we had to fly all the way to Israel for this case." Kate begun changing the topic, she would find a way to get back at him later.

"Kate's right, they could at least tell us why." Mcgee came back in now joining the conversation.  
"Does it really matter? we get to ride in their private jet and that sure as hell beats commercial." Tony said while replacing the magazine on the table in front of him.  
"I guess so." Mcgee agreed.  
"I'm sure it's nothing that we can't handle." Tony then tried to reassure.  
"Yeah well let's hope you didn't just jinx us, DiNozzo." Choosing that moment, Gibbs strode back into the room after insisting on going to make his own coffee.  
"Nah we've got this." Tony answered, glancing out the window and smiling as he did so.

"Israel, here we come."


	3. Not One of Us

Chapter 3: Not one of us.

"Why was I taken off the roster and registered as an inactive agent?!"

Eli hadn't so much as flinched at the sound of his daughter raging into his office, slamming open his door in the process. Why would he anyway? He had all but expected such a reaction from his daughter. So with his head still buried in the report before him, he dismissively addressed her.

"You should not be here."

"Tell me!" She shouted, her voice reflecting just how irate she truly was.

He didn't reply right away, instead choosing to finish the paragraph he was on before finally meeting her eyes. His daughter predictably so, had been as restless and defiant as ever and had chosen to disregard the doctors' orders of staying home and resting. Which left him with no choice but to put in place something to garner her attention, and force her listen. So he had gone ahead and taken away the one thing that mattered to her. She would not be allowed to be a part of any upcoming missions for the foreseeable future.

His expression gave away nothing as he finally answered.

"It is for your own good, go home Ziva."

"I refuse! Allow me to redeem myself, whatever it is I will do it."

"There is no doubt in my mind that if you could, you would do so tenfold."

"Then why will you not allow me to go?"

"Circumstances have changed."

"Nothing has changed, I am still me!"

Eli chose that moment to lean back in his chair and appraise his daughter, knowing what he did, there was only one conclusion he could come to.

"You will never be the same." It was a simple fact but one that seemed to strike a chord within his daughter.

"How could you say that to me?" A pained expression flashed across her face as a feeling of lost begun to settle within her.

"What are you not telling me?" She demanded, her eyes now narrowed accusingly at her father. She hadn't wanted it to be true but her upbringing would not allow her to be so naïve. Something indeed was terrifically wrong with her for her father to say something like that.

Eli had been fully preparing himself for the moment that Ziva would realize that her test results had revealed far more than what her doctors were telling her. Also the fact that it would be his orders that were now preventing her from knowing why exactly she'd had such a reaction to the drug when all the other agents hadn't.

"In time, for now go and rest". He would wait. At the moment, he was unsure of what his daughter would do with this knowledge and he wanted to ensure that she complied to his will.

"I do not need it."

"Still you will have it". With that said, Eli adjusted his glasses and returned to the report that had been left neglected for far too long, giving a silent dismissal to his daughter as he did so.

Sensing rather than seeing, he felt Ziva's presence as she continued to stand in open defiance.

"You are still here?" He asked after about five minutes, his eyes still concentrating on the words before him.

A look of hurt flashed across her features before quickly being concealed. She turned her back and stormed out of her father's office, clearly, she knew she would not be getting anywhere with him.

Once the door had been re-sealed Eli allowed himself to exhale a small breath, while pinching at the bridge of his nose. Abandoning his report yet again in the process. His daughter had always been more stubborn than both himself and his former wife. He had known as much from the moment she had been born and had decided she would not cry no matter how hard the doctors and nurses tried with her. It was only when her mother called for the nurse to bring Ziva to her and she held her for the first time, did his daughter allow herself those first cries. Throughout her life he had watched on in pride at how strong willed and determined she was. She would put her mind to something and without a doubt it would be. Now however he was strongly contemplating how the next few months of her pregnancy would go, also the fact that it may just be the end of him, if she still refused to rest. He would have to find a way to keep her occupied, for everyone's sake. It was at that moment a single thought crossed his mind and without pause he was reaching for his phone. Quickly dialing his intended contact. It was only one ring before the person on the other end answered, Eli managed a quick greeting before establishing the reason for his call.

"Have the NCIS agents brought to my office as soon as they land."

…

Arriving at her locker she reached for her pack and begun rifling through for her workout gear, maybe she would be able to run off some of her anger and frustration. She had just located them when a pressure begun to build in her head accompanied by the unmistakable feeling in her stomach, that she would have to get to a restroom as quickly as she could. Her head was feeling light as she sought after the bathroom allocated for the workout center.

Finding a stall, she did her absolute best to not make a complete mess as she'd made this morning in her own bathroom. She had to pull herself together, she couldn't afford to be throwing up at work as well. It would only make her appear to still be vulnerable. Which may just invite a challenge she may not be ready for as yet but one she would not refuse, regardless.

Standing up from her previous position she allowed herself a moment to stabilize before going to rinse out her mouth and head back to her locker. She decided she would just keep her time on the machine as short as possible for now until her nausea wore off.

She had just exited the restroom when she caught sight of Noam, one of her father's men waiting for her. She stayed where she was and allowed him to approach her. Once he did she wasted no time in pleasantries, already feeling fatigued from throwing up a breakfast she didn't even have, and slightly irritable as another wave of nausea seemed just about ready to hit her over again.

"What do you want?"

"The director has an assignment for you."

She narrowed her eyes at that. Her father had never been one to change his mind so easily, she would know that from personal experiences.

"What kind of assignment?"

"I was sent to escort you." Noam relayed, out rightly ignoring her question, much to Ziva's ire.

"I do not need an escort." She snapped, ready for this whole conversation to end and for him to be out of her sight.

"You say that as if you have a choice, I was given a direct order to not leave you until you arrived at the director's office". Noam conveyed hardly seeming to care that he was mere moments away from bringing her wrath upon himself, instead he chose to observe a few agents that were at this time sparring farther to their left. Affronted, Ziva took a threatening step towards Noam.

"I'd be very careful if I were you."

With an air of indifference, he slightly lowered his head locking his eyes with her own in challenge. His voice was cool as he addressed her.

"Shall I inform the director that even after all you've caused, you are choosing to defy his orders?"

They stood there for a moment as their wills clashed against each other. In the end, she slightly jutted her chin upwards and settled for dismissively brushing past Noam.

As she headed for her father's office, she made a point to put at least three feet between herself and Noam.

As they made their way through the various corridors. Brazenly Ziva held her head high as she blatantly ignored the varying looks of scorn, fear and hatred that were directed towards her.

News of what had happened on her last mission had spread like a wildfire throughout Mossad, with varying details of how exactly everything had gone down. She had been accused of being reckless, mutinous, weak and even a traitor. Ziva didn't care, their opinions never mattered, they could stare all they liked, as long as they never passed their place with her.

Arriving at her father's office for the second time that day she purposefully strode past his secretary and entered without notice. Her face was blank as she took in the room and the persons that now occupied the space along with her father. They seemed a bit surprised, clearly not expecting her.

"Ah Ziva, you have arrived". Her father greeted. "Come in and meet our guests." Indicating from his far right he went along with the introductions. "Special agents Gibbs, Mcgee, Todd and..." before he could finish, the agent who had not as yet been identified stepped forward, with his hand extended to her and a smile to match a Cheshire cat.

"Very special agent Anthony Dinozzo." She took a moment to take in the agent, though the thought he was fairly attractive did cross her mind, it did not prevent her from dismissively brushing past him and going to her father. Something that obviously displeased Eli.

"What is this?"

"This is your new assignment, you will be assisting with their investigation." He leveled at her with a slight rebuke. "And I expect nothing less than your full co-operation."

He held her gaze and silently tested her to say or do anything contrary, it was one thing to defy the doctors' orders and still come to work, After all he himself had never been a fan of idle hands. He would not however, allow her to defy him. Her back stiffened and he thought she might try to refuse but instead, she turned her back to him and made her way to exit his office for the second time that day.

She paused at the doorframe, with an insipid tone requested the agents to follow her. As they moved to do so, Eli made mention for the team leader Gibbs to stay behind for a bit and informed his daughter he would escort him later on. Not that it particularly mattered to her, as she was moving off without a backward glance, not even a second after he had finished speaking.

Marching along the corridors, the jet-lagged agents couldn't help but feel a little tense. At first, they hadn't thought much about going to set up their new area that they would be working from, while at the spy agency. But the more their journey prolonged the more paranoid they became, it appeared their presence was not welcomed. Every corner they turned, every hallway it was the same. They were met with a severe chill in the air and a feeling that they very well may be in danger.

It was apparent on Mcgee's face just how uneasy he really was, and though Kate hid it well she couldn't help but cast distrustful glances at the operatives every now and again. Tony, never really one to hold back his thoughts and make his concerns known, spoke up after feeling that he had stayed quiet for far too long.

"Is it just us, or.."

"It's not you." She responded coolly making her way around yet another corner.

"Then what exactly is their problem." Kate asked irritated at having to feel like such a leper.

Ziva didn't answer right away, instead choosing to pause at the door located at the very end of the corridor they had been traveling along, turning to face the group of agents with look of indifference, she supplied a curt response before entering the intel room assigned to them. "Me."

The agents were surprised at this revelation, not expecting such an answer. After sending each other varying looks of apprehension and concern. they wasted little time in following their Mossad escort, whatever reason her own people would have for behaving the way they were, would have to take a back to seat to their mission.

…..


	4. You're not alone?

Chapter 4: You're not alone?

It had been seven weeks since her mission had failed. Two of which she'd been unconscious and/or bedridden. Another two-spent recovering, the remaining time she had been locked away, going over any and all information related to her investigation with the NCIS agents that were now before her.

As she glanced around the small muddled room, it both struck and surprised her at how far they had managed to come in such a short span of time. Though she'd been co-operative as was ordered by her father. Ziva had been slow in any verbal acknowledgment of the foreign agents. For the entirety of their first week setting up and establishing their priorities. She had spoken only when necessary, and did her utmost best to keep out of any conversations that had nothing to do with the case.

Back then She could tell by their curious glances they exchanged amongst themselves, that they thought something was not quite right with her. As she'd had to bolt from the room multiple times a day, in an attempt to not throw up all over their reports. Often spending several minutes each time as she did so. When finally questioned about her "disappearances" and if she was "alright". She had chosen to disregard and dismiss their concerns. To Ziva they were nothing more than trivial attempts to form some sort of connection with her. For whatever reason they may have had for doing so, she simply did not care.

The days had worn on and she found herself throwing up every four or so hours, causing her to become increasingly more volatile . This was only amplified by the fact her back ached and her energy reserves seemed to be failing her more and more. Her only solace had come from her training sessions. It was only then she was able to lose herself in her exercise routine; for however long she could that is.

It was at the week and a half point, during one of her lengthier 'trips', that something had changed. After exiting the stall for the second time that day, she was surprised to find agent Todd waiting for her. At first she hadn't said anything, but after a moment or so, outstretched her hand to Ziva. A smile and bottle of water in hand, with the instruction that she needed to keep rehydrated. Ziva had been a little weary of taking the liquid from the agent, unsure what exactly it would mean by doing so. However, she had tentatively taken the bottle and offered up a small thank you. That in Ziva's opinion, she would describe as the beginning.  
After that point they no longer asked about her disappearances and instead whenever she would return, there would be a bottle of water and a small salty snack at her station waiting for her.

Though still unclear of their true intentions. She had found that it had become easier for her to relax, if only for a bit in their company. There was a feeling she could not explain whenever she found herself actively listening in to their stories, that they seemed to like so much. A not unwelcomed contrast to her earlier impression of the agents. Particularly with agent DiNozzo, whom she had been the most aggravated by from the very start.

For some unknown reason he had a penchant for referencing movies, at _every_ turn in the investigation. He claimed each one to be a classic. Though she had yet of course to believe as much.

As she now combed over the file before her, she allowed herself the opportunity to listen in yet again to another argument between Agents Dinozzo and Todd. They seemed unable, from what she had observed to exchange three sentences before the other said something the former could not agree on. Whether it be Dinozzo's constant movie bluffing, a theory to add to their case, or even what to order for their lunch. They simply could not agree on anything. Shaking her head slightly, she had learned to keep her opinions at moments like this to herself. Keeping in mind the few times she had ended up going back and forth needlessly with the loud mouth senior field agent.

Since she was being forced to play civil. In the earlier stages his attempts to draw her into whatever conversation they were having, had been exasperating to say the least.

Even though It did still grind on her wheels. She'd found that his persistence to get a rise out of her, had actually provided her mind something with which to focus and occupy itself. Namely, how many ways she could remove his tongue from his body. Though as they say it may be a bit over the counter, it did not prevent it from being any less entertaining to imagine.

However for whatever reason, she had found her mind wandering a little too frequently to their earlier conversation that week. It was interesting to say the least and she would not deny that it had somehow caught her off-guard. Not use to seeing such a serious side to the agent.

….

 _"You do not need to say it." She'd sensed his presence the moment he had entered the workout center and had chosen to ignore him, in hopes he would just leave. It had taken 10 minutes of her feeling him still watching her that she knew he either hadn't realize that she was purposefully ignoring him, or he had but wanted to input his opinion where as usual it was unwelcomed._

 __ _She would not have it._

 __ _Today was one of her better days. she had made it to the afternoon without having to rush to the restroom all day, and the lingering fatigue that always seemed to encompass her had subsided for the time being. She was on her break and wanted to maximize the opportunity. She had no time for him._ _  
_

_"Say what? I was just looking for the juice bar. Besides I doubt you would listen to anything I have to say anyway."_

 __ _"And you would not be wrong." She answered flippantly, keeping a steady rhythm with her punches._ __

 _"However, just for conversations sake." He now leisurely moved to stand close beside her. From the corner of her eye she could see as he tilted his head in question and his expression changed to one of calculating thought. Something she had not actually believed him capable of._

 __ _"Mind telling me why it's so important to drive yourself half to death?" She spared him only a short withering glare before returning to her punching bag. Conveying the message as she did so that she would not entertain this conversation of his. Ignoring her rebuff he continued unabated._

 __ _"These last few weeks you've barely managed to make it to lunch without throwing up, and you don't seem to be holding out very well when we end up staying overnight. Why won't you let yourself rest?"_ _  
_ _"That's not your concern." She snapped. Even she could not deny what was so plainly obvious. Her punches grew more forceful as she tried to vent her frustrations out on the piece of equipment._

 __ _"I'll be honest. I really don't know how you guys do it here, but like it or not you're on our team right now so damn right it's our concern."_

 __ _He reached firmly to take hold and halt the bag in its track, which of course only managed to edge her to strike harder, to break it free of his possession. Initially taken aback by the force of her blows, Tony quickly adjusted his hold and stance to withstand her furious only seemed to further infuriate her._ _  
_ _With a final strike she managed to free the bag from his hold. He staggered for a moment before regaining his ground. Their eyes met in opposition. Neither saying a word as they became suspended in time. Finally breaking the silence, Tony spoke slow and deliberate. Keeping his tone as even and gentle as he could._

 __ _"Listen, I heard your last mission didn't go too well..."._

 __ _"It is not that simple."_

 __ _Her gloved hands found and clung to the forgotten bag before her. No matter how hard she tried she could not escape it. Her pound of flesh was finally due and she could not pay it._

 _He studied her for a moment as if weighing his next move._

 __ _"Alright, so tell me."_

 __ _"What?" Her eyes opened and found that he was now much closer than before, with an encouraging air encompassing him. For a moment she was reminded of …No. If they knew what was good for them, they would stay away from her. She was nothing but a harbinger of misfortune and death. Amir had learned that the hard way and paid for it with his life._

 __ _"Well you don't care what I think, what's the harm?" His stance though relaxed, contrasted greatly with the earnest look in his eyes. She didn't have to read into him very deeply to know that he meant it. He wanted to hear her story._

 __ _"You don't have to go in detail or anything, but what happened to you?"_

 __ _She was surprised not just at this new side of the senior field agent or, at the direction the conversation had taken a turn to, but at the fact she was actually considering what he was asking of her._ __

 _Her mind made short work of deliberating and weighing her options. Somehow as her mind worked through all the she had to process, she could not escape the strangest feeling as their gazes held, that he could see her every thought and question that passed through her mind . Quickly averting her eyes she gave her head a small shake. She could not bring herself to do it after all._

 __ _"You don't have to do this alone…."_

…. __

Before now, she hadn't cared what others thought of her. After all she was a soldier and did not concern herself with the opinion of others. The only approval or acceptance she wanted was her father's. Lately however she was beginning to feel the weight of it all. The carefully crafted indifference that she'd been holding onto, was no longer enough to keep the feelings of fear, grief and regret from taking over.  
The rhythm was set, and she looked forward to joining the team in this little area tucked away within Mossad.

Yes, for the first time in a long time, Ziva allowed herself to just be. She would give herself this little peace for as long as they were here.

"Who the hell are you?" Tony out rightly questioned. Prodded out of her musings, her eyes quickly rove towards the only entrance to the room they occupied.

She sucked in a sharp breath at the sight before her. Using his forearm to brace himself against the doorframe and the other arm across his stomach, Amir stood. His eyes locked with her own and that hauntingly familiar smile. But how? She had been told he'd been 'handled' because of his actions on their mission.

She stood frozen. Though every fiber in her being wanted to run to him, a part of her still held her back. He seemed to understand as he always did. His smile only grew gentler. Leaning off the frame his Intent clear as he made his first steps inside the room.

"Amir!" The sound of hastening footsteps along the corridor could be heard, grabbing each occupant of the room's attention. Not long after, the form of woman dressed in a nurse's uniform made her appearance.

"Yana-" Amir started, not expecting her to have found him so easily. Yana, the new arrival cut him off before he could say another word, a reprimand and a scowl on her lips.

"What are you doing here? You should be resting!"

"Forgive me Yana, I could not help myself."

"You can barely stand as it is, com-" It was in that moment, as Yana made her way around to Amir's other side to support him, did her eyes meet with Ziva's.

The woman stiffened, her scowl only growing more severe.

"What is it?" Ziva questioned, her own expression mirroring Yana's.

With an indignant huff, the nurse supplied a curt response before turning her back to the room.

"I have nothing to say to _you_." Securing Amir's arm over her shoulder. She then begun her exit.

As she lead her patient away, she spoke just loud enough to deliver a warning not just for Amir, but also the room of agents as well.

"You must learn Amir. She's no good and will get you killed."


End file.
